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i dun mean to sound like a persimistic brat, but today is a bad dae..at least until now. when i woke up, my heart was aching..as in aching pain, not that i have chest pains..but it just hurts. then in sch wat had wat stupid saf talk, make me feel like crying even more..damn shitty, okayz watever it is alright ok mrs goon is so nice! nice nice nice nice, she didn't give up the geog test, cos' our class they teh her..haha, not that i studied for it, i just read through the chapter to noe wat is going on, and concentrated on my maths test. but i am proud to say, i am not getting a zero, haha i can get minimum 2 points out of 20 which is...ahem 10 outta 100..not bad hor? went to pierce another ear hole today with huili, so i have officially 5 ear holes now, and huili has 6! haha wai soon and shimin when with us then we slack slack at heartland mall then i came home lor, cos' shimin and wai soon have econs remedial...and i have tuition later..i already very tired lor, but i still wanna slack abit more..dun feel like going tuition but i noe i CAN'T otherwise wat's the point of signing up for it ritez? nothing much lah, just that...l can feel e insecurities and stress coming on to me...oh shucks... voNnNnNnN' @ 5:13:00 PM/ --*==*-- btw, huili.....someone told me dave's f maths is 2nd best among the f maths students...which means : he looks very playful and slacky, but he study very hard...whoa, looks are always deceiving, i can't BELIEVE it! voNnNnNnN' @ 6:00:00 PM/ --*==*-- obsession ob·ses·sion 1)Compulsive preoccupation with a fixed idea or an unwanted feeling or emotion, often accompanied by symptoms of )anxiety. 2)A compulsive, often unreasonable idea or emotion. i think i am obsessed with someone, no no no. it's not the i think i am in lurve i want to be with u kinda thing. NO. it's the kind of feeling that, u want to emulate the person. u just want to talk to the person, know the person's thoughts and just to see the person? but, i am very sad to 'announce' i dun know the person, i feel like knowing the person, but i dunno how okayz enough of it, i realised i am not focused enough. as in FOCUSED FOCUSED FOCUSED. i dun know what i want in life, i dun know what i am doing, i just muddle day by day, as long as i can pass one day i am happy. i dunno why. i went for the guitar buffet today, and i realised how naive and stupid i am bout my results. my guitar mates actually got a A B B, and another one A,B,C. WTH?? which leaves my E E F lookin' like...shit. ARGH ARGH ARGH! panic panic panic. i gotta study, gotta do revision, but i dun seem to be able to settle down..damnit..! sigh....someone gotta help me, push me to study with him or her...sigh...but...but...shouldn't depend on other people ritez? voNnNnNnN' @ 5:58:00 PM/ --*==*-- today is a terrible day, horrible..extremely, i think it's one of the lousy days lah, totally terrible, cos' i lost money, okayz, i shall not elaborate but the feeling is extremely horrible, i feel totally useless....damn it man and u noe what? it's really my fault lor, i can't believe it... oh shit..terrible...going to meet ting soon accompany her buy something at tampines then go meet yuri also at bugis to buy stuff...sigh..today is 1st of 7th month in chinese calendar lah, so i have to come home early to go downstairs and burn incense with my parents...sigh, life sux lah voNnNnNnN' @ 2:14:00 PM/ --*==*-- erm..tuition again..but i dunno leh, i feel so detached from the world..but who cares man, i suddenly feel very scared cos' my prelims and a levels are so bloody near..but...i still not in the mood to study, and things are not perfect now..i feel so..detached from my frens and stuff..guess everyone has their own stuff to do..so cannot blame them..yupz.. voNnNnNnN' @ 10:13:00 PM/ --*==*--
voNnNnNnN' @ 10:11:00 PM/ --*==*-- guess what? the meet the parent's session wasn't that bad..cos' well basically my tutors didn't say anything bad, just that i am capable of much better grades..alright alright, i noe i noe I NOE! supposed to see mrs goon only, but i went to see mr foo and mr lum too...haha guess what? mr lum actually said i was top 4 in class for my econs... ( I CAN'T BELIEVE IT) i swear..when i heard that i burst out in laughter..i thought he was kidding, my dad laughted too..oh well... and he told me 8 person in my class passed econs..out of the 25..a bit unbelievable my class is full of those hardworking brats lor, i can't believe it..but i am so glad that the mtps is over..haha after that went to meet my sis at tampines we went to eat fish and co. then my mum came...erm..so the four of us walked around for awhile then my dad went my grandfather's house, me my mum and sister went off to cut hair..not bad lah, my hair is finally back in shape..quite happy, okayz..gotta go bathe and have my dinner already..guess what? i miss my frens..seriously, actually i was in a bad mood cos' nobody wanted to go the cchs pop bbq with me..then i was so touched when my scouts frens called and ask why i never go then they ask me take cab down now..whoa, so touched so touched...haha....i dunno leh, maybe i am too dependent on frens already..should learn to be more independent yeah?? :) god bless me..! i lurve : liting, yuri, maureen, christina, huili, cheryl, shimin...i dunno how i can survive without my frens man! voNnNnNnN' @ 7:23:00 PM/ --*==*-- Lord, let it grow. Love your enemies as yourself yes I know. But let hatred arise to it's peak in me. Today, create in me the strongest wall around my heart, that never will come down. Harden it to its hardest that I may never feel again; that I may nv drop another tear for the same again. Ever again. That once was all it took for you to resent all your life. But yvonne, you weakened time and again. You gave in to the only ever unforgivable. Over and over again. Only to find it's again, another play. I resolved a hundred and one times, but never kept to them. But I suppose they're lessons on the way To teach me the truth, but only through pain. This very day, upon this I pray, that I may never stumble. That I may never weaken. That I may never fall. That I may distant to its very furthest, That I may feel the least when it's actually more than I can take. That I may never allow forgiveness in my soul, That I may never, ever again shed the same tear. Or when I hear, that I may turn my ear. That even during times of emotional plunges, stone my heart the very next instant so that I may never give in to the weakest part of me. voNnNnNnN' @ 7:08:00 PM/ --*==*--  you're alright. of course you'll be beaming with glee cos you live for approval and the status quo. im not saying that its bad. you might wanna start cultivating something i like to call individuality. are you a loser...like me? brought to you by Quizilla voNnNnNnN' @ 7:04:00 PM/ --*==*-- sigh, actually also dunno wat to say..just wanna say..my life is in a mess..i feel like shit..but at least..i still have my frens..oh well..tuition starting on thursday..nothing to say liaoz lah, yupz..i miss my frens..alot..sigh voNnNnNnN' @ 10:07:00 PM/ --*==*-- 
Are you NASTY or NICE? Quiz made by Angela voNnNnNnN' @ 10:05:00 PM/ --*==*--  Moony (Remus J. Lupin) Are you Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, or Prongs? (4 Harry Potter Fans) brought to you by Quizilla voNnNnNnN' @ 11:00:00 PM/ --*==*--  Nokia 7250 suits you the best! You're an average girl/boy without high expectations in life. You take whatever that comes your way in your stride and always remain optimistic and positive. Which Nokia Cellphone is Most Suitable for You? brought to you by Quizilla voNnNnNnN' @ 10:55:00 PM/ --*==*-- went to tpjc dancefest on friday, it is so DAMN COOL! serious serious, liting looked so pretty, and it was altogether a new experience..haha..really fun, brought huili and wai soon along too, i am so so so glad that they enjoyed themselves otherwise i will feel so so so guilty, but i am sorry bout the sitting down thing....sorrie sorrie then yesterday went back to cchs for the pop thingy, not bad i am quite impressed with the number of people we have 107 lor, so many! but then..the sec ones abit cannot make it (big hint to the seniors) aniway, then i went to find the guitar people who went out to celebrate our silver..it's so fun lor, i can't believe it, we went to play pool cos' i went late lah, then they already ate lunch already, then i was very hungry lor aniway first time i play pool with such a large group of people 13 of us including late comer evelyn whoa, we got three tables lor, so fun..haha, cos' got alot of frens there..then i didn't feel very very awkward like i used to when the tables surrounding us were all gao shou..hee then we went kbox and sing karaoke, whoa, more like shouting, got four mikes then the wires keep getting tangled..then the screen WHOA WHOA WHOA, super big, cos' they gave us a big room, with projector screen on the wall..so big...and so advance..but ahem the price....sigh.....then after that go eat dinner then go home already today was quite normal lor, nothing much to say..just that..i enjoyed myself..with liting! hee hee! voNnNnNnN' @ 10:51:00 PM/ --*==*-- i realised i dun have enough time animore..only two months more then is prelims but i am not focused enough to study yet! argh! aniway my mum just told me she wanna go nanjing wif my sister in december then she asked whether i can stay in spore wif my dad cos' he might not be able to get leave..then she will bring me to spain in april...i was like huh?? no lah, i wanna go nanjing wif them also...why should she bring my sister? they just went china like last year or the year before but i didn't go lor, i dun care arh, this time i am FOLLOWING them hahaha! then i was chatting wif my mum on the way home..then i told her i wanna go take guitar lessons then can go take e guitar exams otherwise i buy my guitar then become like white elephant sit at home..my mum also wants me to go dunno informatics or something to take some accounting thingy..well..i dunno..that's what she plan.. and i got some good news...to me lah, first time in my life...me..ahem study on my own accord feeling the pressure and in the studying mode studied for my mid year exams..although didn't do well..but i feel according to my own standards..i improved. i dun mean to brag..but then from E AO F, to E E F is not bad considering the fact this mid year is full paper...all of j1 topics and stuff..and..well..i passed gp. nuff said. i am not good enough to pass my a levels yet, i noe this for a fact that's why i am scared..dunno whether to panic or not, my mum said my sister already plan timetable on what to study for her prelims ( she's taking o levels) maybe i should do one too..to scare myself...haha aniwae, i miss my frens..tina ting, yuri and maureen...2 weeks never see them already..i think i am mad.... voNnNnNnN' @ 9:39:00 PM/ --*==*-- okayz. i skipped sch today, and i am home slacking away, somehow, i dun seem to be able to get myself to start studying...i am such a slacker..nothing to say lor voNnNnNnN' @ 10:15:00 AM/ --*==*--  You are Natalie. You are totally goofy and dancing is your favorite way to chill! You're a team player and you're sexy because you're cute! Which Angel from Charlie's Angels Are YOU?! brought to you by Quizilla voNnNnNnN' @ 10:11:00 AM/ --*==*-- we got silver for guitar syf...okayz, i admit, i was not happy AT ALL, come on lah, listen to our playing, even terence one that doesn't give comments easily said we PLAYED WELL, but dunno lah, but considering the fact this was our first attempt at syf, and we got a SILVER, it's not that bad..( that's what e rest said) aniway, after that we wanted to go and eat. then kevin and his brillant idea of what bukit timah shopping centre! there's absolutely nothing to eat there and we took cab there somemore, then they wanted to go ps and eat pizza hut, then everyone was okay wif the idea...then what? eve told us e wrong direction for the bus and we ENDED UP AT MANDAI ZOO!! whoa, nothing to say, then lucky bob go ask bus uncle then he said e bus will stop at yishun northpoint, so we ended up eating there, then we called kevin and eve they all those pple who took his car, then he drove over and ate wif us at swensen's whoa, e bill $400 and kevin paid first but then i must collect money from e rest to pay kevin cos' it's not very nice for him to pay the whole bill for us, by the time we finished eating it was almost eight liaoz, then pd they all still dun wanna go home wanted to go shop one, but e rest of us were dead tired, not to mention THERE IS A MATHS TEST tomorrow, so me pL and gina were considering skipping sch cos' we dun wanna go for e test..what's e point of gong there to flunk it? and moreover we're dead tired it makes sense lor so we went to take 969 to tampines then i changed bus home....so tired reached home so late....haha, i think i shall rest early and decide whether to go to sch..tomorrow morning..hahaha voNnNnNnN' @ 9:49:00 PM/ --*==*-- we got silver for guitar syf...okayz, i admit, i was not happy AT ALL, come on lah, listen to our playing, even terence one that doesn't give comments easily said we PLAYED WELL, but dunno lah, but considering the fact this was our first attempt at syf, and we got a SILVER, it's not that bad..( that's what e rest said) aniway, after that we wanted to go and eat. then kevin and his brillant idea of what bukit timah shopping centre! there's absolutely nothing to eat there and we took cab there somemore, then they wanted to go ps and eat pizza hut, then everyone was okay wif the idea...then what? eve told us e wrong direction for the bus and we ENDED UP AT MANDAI ZOO!! whoa, nothing to say, then lucky bob go ask bus uncle then he said e bus will stop at yishun northpoint, so we ended up eating there, then we called kevin and eve they all those pple who took his car, then he drove over and ate wif us at swensen's whoa, e bill $400 and kevin paid first but then i must collect money from e rest to pay kevin cos' it's not very nice for him to pay the whole bill for us, by the time we finished eating it was almost eight liaoz, then pd they all still dun wanna go home wanted to go shop one, but e rest of us were dead tired, not to mention THERE IS A MATHS TEST tomorrow, so me pL and gina were considering skipping sch cos' we dun wanna go for e test..what's e point of gong there to flunk it? and moreover we're dead tired it makes sense lor so we went to take 969 to tampines then i changed bus home....so tired reached home so late....haha, i think i shall rest early and decide whether to go to sch..tomorrow morning..hahaha voNnNnNnN' @ 9:24:00 PM/ --*==*-- didn't update yesterday..i was too tired already..haha my mum and dad went johor then i went along wif them all the way from 11am to 8 plus then i reached home so late..then i had to pack my gp file and my worksheets and stuff i feel so friendless. seriously....but u can have a 1001 hi and bye friends..but how many are truly there for u ? well i dunno, i seriously can't count even like 5? heh..whatever lah, life is not going well for me i put in quite a lot of effort for my maths paper( ask yuri) and i did sorta expect to get a AO not another f but then...i got another f...WTF...so..i think i am going for tuition and syf is on wed...and after that i am officially outta guitar and going to concentrate on my studies..then again..i dunno..i am so confused then there's this nkf organ donation kinda thingy..it made me stop and think bout my values and my thinkings and life. oh man..i sound...like i am going to die..aniway it's never too early to make a will..who noes..i might die tomorrow yeah?? voNnNnNnN' @ 9:36:00 PM/ --*==*-- u noe something? i feel damn bloody useless...one can only live till say..at the most 80 now? and considering the fact that u might die any moment from now..why dun just make full use of the time we have and do stuff we want? i feel so bloody without a life....come on lah, having been on this earth for 18 years 2 months and 12 days, what have i done? i dun have any achievements..no accomplishments..nothing NOTHING! all my frens have their own life..go play basketball..go chalet with families...studying with boyfren...at boyfren's house..studying at fren's house...go campfire..yada yada yada..nobody gives me a damn...why can't i have the courage like other pple to go out and do what they want BY THEMSELVES.. the fact that some people goes out alone, go gym alone and DO STUFF ALONE makes me feel totally vulnerable. why can't i do the same? it's not that i am going to be eaten up by a lion or something...i dunno i just can't. and now people close to me are getting attached....the guy i sorta have a major crush on doesn't seems to sense on existence on this world...just another 'piece of trash' living on this earth..waiting for me D day... watever lah, just feel that this world is so unfair....OH WATEVER LAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! voNnNnNnN' @ 11:22:00 PM/ --*==*-- i am in the i am so tired mode...yet still lazy kinda thingy..haha..aniway, i gotta go out soon...update again later...if i have the energy to..haha! thanks mei for the encouraging sms voNnNnNnN' @ 9:53:00 AM/ --*==*-- http://www.twisu.com.tw/7/ind/images/relax.swf check this out people..it's cute! haha voNnNnNnN' @ 9:44:00 AM/ --*==*-- i very happy, someone passed me the harry potter 5th book, so i am officially the proud owner of one...haha but i haven't opened it up yet cos' i very tired...i wanna go catch up on my beauty sleep..haha aniwae, today guitar ended early at bout 6.40 like that..cos' the auntie came and told us what no teacher around go home go home cos' she wanna lock up..oh well...no choice then we left lor, quite happy in guitar today cos' i was quite on form..then i think i played quite well...haha then my gp passed...although comparing to e rest of the guitar pple it's very low marks..but i am quite happy already...then tomorrow full dress rehearsal from 12 to 7 but dunno whether can tahan for 7 hours not.. i ate some famous amos cookies just now it's my dinner..sigh..there's nothing for me to eat at home.....i still hope for the day for someone to buy dinner for me..haha (hint hint) aniway, i got ting's pitas site so i quite happy can link to her now..hope she dun mind without me asking her..but..i dun think she'll be angry... ritez? :P voNnNnNnN' @ 9:38:00 PM/ --*==*-- i'm too tired already..guitar is from 5 - 8 todae, sigh, and i am having a free period now..then in the library typing this lor, sigh..i was so tired lor, just now the free period i 'spent' it doing my econs mcq..for tutorial..luckily i did..otherwise he will suan me again! aniwae, i have got GREAT news...i me( i can't believe ) it myself..i passed my gp, i swear i thought i was going to fail, especially my compO, u noe what's e comments my marker gave ? she said : ' wrong interpretion of qns ' but...surprisingly she didn't fail me, i think it's a she?? haha, aniwae, so i didn't fail my gp..and i can't believe it.. okay, enough of that...i hope my frens will be happy, and well..although i am busy wif my guitar..i keep getting e unwanted feeling..sigh..dunno leh, maybe different schs really make a huge difference...lurve ya guys. voNnNnNnN' @ 12:59:00 PM/ --*==*-- what a tiring day, serious.they changed back e timetable for pe...so i had to wait 2 hours to go to pe at 4.15 to 5.15..then i felt so guilty cos' i asked tina whether wanna go study together..sigh so happy i think can go the dancefest asking huili they all to go too cos' we never go before mah, somemore the tickets not too expensive then i really hope they can go also lor..haha erm....nothing much lah, just very tired lor..think i going to sleep early..guitar till 7pm again tomorrow...sigh but must endure..it's going to be over soon.. voNnNnNnN' @ 6:19:00 PM/ --*==*-- sigh..i give up already..i like him alot but i dun think there's even remotely a chance...forget it lah, i think i should concentrate on my studies..guitar now is a top priority in my life..next wed is syf..we cannot screw up...i cannot allow myself to hai the whole team just because i wasn't on form dunno why i just feel that life totally sucks..okay i noe i sound childish immature and in those what a freaking irritating person... but nobody understands me..at least..i dun anyone does...everything is such a fluke..fake fake fake..fake smiles fake conversations..everybody is so fake..totally sux voNnNnNnN' @ 9:44:00 PM/ --*==*-- alright..guess what? i wanted to go and jog..then when i reached downstairs..it was drizzling..okayz lor i nothing to say...i feeling kinda no life and such..dunno leh...just like, when u need somebody to be there for u..no one is there for u..i dunno maybe 'first day' of sch after holidays everyone is busy lor, aniway... today's paper also not so great..dunno what is ppp and what weighted exchange rate..argh! i am so slack..i think i better go pack my files and stuff nicely then can gear up to concentrate for revision to a levels..i am so lousy, i seriously feel so lousy...not smart no life..why why? sigh sigh..dunno lah, but at least sch starting liaoz..maybe i won't think so much of the nonsense.. voNnNnNnN' @ 5:36:00 PM/ --*==*--  Singapore Chinese Girls' school which secondary school (singapore) should you be in? brought to you by Quizilla huh? i was quite shocked..but heyz..maybe they dun have chung cheng's crest..haha! voNnNnNnN' @ 2:12:00 PM/ --*==*-- ok..i can't believe it myself but i accidentally pressed his number and called him. then i now have three sms from him...then it's just those polite smses asking who is this..but hey! i am already very happy lor, then the cchs carnival was GREAT PERFECT FABULOUS,kudos to the organisers and my juniors man! haha, i am in a crappy mode...going to sleep or slack around...just ate my lunch..not bad lah, quite nice..but i very sianz that tina and momo are going orchard to shop while i am stuck at home..haha but well...wat to do?? got exams tomorrow..haha.. voNnNnNnN' @ 1:54:00 PM/ --*==*-- aniway...i dunno lah, i was trying to call them to ask bout the tomorrow thingy....but then i cannot find those pple with spouses..only those without..then i was thinking..no bf..really no life? aniway...no life no life lor, i am in the i dun give a damn mood now...but well..it's just a thought.. voNnNnNnN' @ 1:17:00 AM/ --*==*-- i am so happy, i am going the cchs carnival...i lurve my frens..exams are 'almost over' hahaha! i think i am mad.. voNnNnNnN' @ 1:11:00 AM/ --*==*-- damn depressed..he dun even want to talk to me, i noe he is online but he's just avoiding me..watever lah, bouts of depression again..i had quite a great time today actually, e movie was great..but i simply wasn't in e mood to talk..i was in the thinking mood..thanks for alan kor aniway, he kept me 'happy' wif smses..otherwise..i dunno.. i dunno what to say, just that i am very confused..i am not in love lor, i dun want to fall in love, but my feelings for him are different in a certain way..i want to be wif him but i dun want a relationship to ruin our frenship..sigh..i dunno lah, maybe should really concentrate on my studies.. voNnNnNnN' @ 10:45:00 PM/ --*==*-- today is his birthday..and he dun even noe it, he's already 23..sigh, i feel damn sad...i feel it's like my fault..but there's nothing i can do....he just hope time pass as quickly as possible...even i can get over relationship problems..why can't he..somemore he has been through so much more than me..i really dun understand..maybe i can never understand it.. voNnNnNnN' @ 6:45:00 PM/ --*==*-- i asked..and he came back to singapore last month for five days, and he didn't call me, why? because he said he no mood...but he did meet up wif his other frens. i have nothing to say. really no fate. voNnNnNnN' @ 6:03:00 PM/ --*==*-- i feel like crying, people i found him. to tina: i finally chatted wif sherman...i really very gan dong..he didn't avoid me..and he still answer my questions. dunno why i so happy also, and he's damn shocked to see me..haha, aniway, after like almost one year of no contact, no nothing.. but..he's just simply not talking, waiting for me to ask only, it makes me sad..and he still dun wanna tell me how can i contact him...but i really feel like i have found my old best fren, except that, we have drifted and have our life now. why must he run all the way to germany to torture himself? i really dun understand him. just because of it, i dun dare to ask if he has gotten over it, some wounds is not that easy to heal..but 2 years plus already...sigh, in case anyone is wondering..one of my ex good frens broke up wif him, and we were all good frens to begin with, which explains why all 3 of us are not 'good' frens animore, life sux..i just hope, he won't hurt so much anymore, i will be his fren forever..he's one of the few pple who was wif me when i was at the low point in my life, that was in lower sec.. so he will alwayz be special to me. if he needs my help, i will help him, but he hates help. voNnNnNnN' @ 5:44:00 PM/ --*==*-- i feel dead..i felt like crying when i was in the exam hall..3 hour paper...i sit there for so long look around..really felt like giving up lor, i feel so bloody guilty..mrs goon is so nice..the questions is not HARD at all..yet i failed..shit lah then i told myself i wanna study hard for my paper 2 then i come home slacked slacked slacked..watch tv watch tv..until now..then i online..shit mah i feel so undertermined..then just now when i came home..i walking to my block..guess who i saw? i saw jonathan..he going reservoir for a jog..wah lao..i also wanna jog lor, but too late liaoz..sianz..maybe tomorrow wake up early go jog..come home and pia my geog then yuri finished her papers today..damn shuang..i sms her then she went out to shopping all those liaoz..sigh..srjc ar srjc..why must u have full paper to torture me????? sigh.. voNnNnNnN' @ 10:56:00 PM/ --*==*-- i am in quite a funny mood. i was very stressed out this morning then i sms my alan kor then he's so nice he encouraged me and everything..then when i woke up i received an sms from my samartha meiz i think today's maths paper is quite a goner..except i noe i won't get 0 marks cos' i can do like one or two of the proving questions..haha..as if it's of any help. then cos' i didn't go study wif tina..i came home and watched tv..like non stop..then i dunno lah, simply not in the mood to study lah aniway..okay i am in the depressed mode now.. i miss my old frens..peope like sherman..wanling..esp sherm..i can click wif him...i dunno why but..its unfortunate that i cannot talk to him animore..i miss him...not in the love kind of aspect but in the good fren to talk to..to share happines and woes wif..kinda.. voNnNnNnN' @ 9:16:00 PM/ --*==*-- |
[about] yvonne 1st april 1985 loves roy 25th november 2004 pessimist procrastinater. hyperactive crazy [likes-] her friends pink chinablack ktv mahjong swimming [hates-] life schemers betrayers [surf] yahoo auctions flowerpod peiyee lynn ah block! liting debra aLan kor christina say hi!
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