5/27/2004
i know i sound like a moron. but i have to let it out alright?

have u ever met someone, then feel weird, like u've known this person all ur life, and this person shares the same beliefs, the way u look at things, the same perception to life? the same tastes? the both of u can walk into a boutique and ur hands just touch the EXACT same piece of clothing? weird isn't it? i know, i have met this someone, the problem is it's a she ermz..haha..enough ranting..but i just wanna say..thanks to the higher beings who let me find her..because i have believed that i can never find someone who will understand me..but she does..and my frens...unlike wat u all think/believe..i am not rich..i am bloody poor..and she my fren..understands it...sigh..but i bet half of u are smirking now..and saying..my foot if yvonne is not rich..oh well..

dun fret my dear frens, i have not gone les, but hands up my frens, how many of u have met someone like that? do u know whenever i have a problem or we look at an issue together and talk bout it..we share, we have the EXACT same views, except the fact that i'm better wif words. so i manage to express to a higher degree of accuracy my views on it.oh...alright..enough on -miss mystery her-

oh well..then last nitez, he called..and we chatted, i've never had a 10 mins conversation that can make me truly happy, i have stopped anticipating his calls simply because, i dun have the right to..i'm just a fren..but when he calls and whines about his day, it feels so right..like..i can listen to his 'whining' the whole nitez, even though i dun understand half the ns language, or the crappiness of his bunk mates behind him..but it feels so..nice..

he's really perfect u know? he's smart, he's intellectual, he can match me in arguing about issues, not superficial ones..but the worldly, the politics, our views on the government, the law systems...blah blah.. yet at the same time we can talk bout( actually bitch) about other people..like my xx fren was so blah blah, she was too much..and his xx fren is so gay...blah blah..haha we're so immature..

yet at the same time..it feels so right..like he's the perfect guy buddy, except for the fact..he's single..extremely eligible..and will never be mine..haha..seriously, i thought all the eligible men have been snatched by the i-am-too-perfect barbies u see on the road..haha..he's really smart, has a good brain..he's not bad looking,cute according to some of my frens..unbelievably flithy rich..argh!..gentleman..he actually knows how to treat a gal..he's not those wei jun zi..like..act of anything..he has been brought up to know how to respect and treat a gal..i can't believe it..

so ladies..if u're interested..sms me..or leave a note on the tagboard okay? i would love to introduce him to my single and eligible frens out there..the only criteria would be..u have to be 165cm and above in height..because he, my dear fren is 182cm, and ladies, i have just proven to u that..the almost perfect and too good to be true man exists, and HE IS NOT GAY!
voNnNnNnN' @ 11:52:00 AM/

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5/22/2004
because of the dinner chat i had wif my 'frens' ( i consider them to be..even though they are in their 40s,50s) i have decided that since life is short, and i'll never know when i'll get bang by a car, hit by a flower pot, murdered in a cross fire of gang fights, or just drop dead in my sleep, i hereby decide to write a will.

yes, a will..please dun laugh, it's not funny and i am not crazy..a perfectly well human being can be walking on the road, minding his own business when he gets bang by a car, by some dim-witted driver, or some day dreaming a**hole, and so my frens, if one day, i die, please, i hope and pray that u will see my will and let it be known to the beneficies of my will

i, yvonne teo, hereby, will all my financial wealth, my posb's account money, those in my wallet,and watever, to my parents and sister, i want them to be split 50/50. meaning, my parents = father and mother is 50% and my sister another 50%

my stuff, my clothes, my soft toys, and junk, the endless bags, shoes, wallets, blah blah..meaning wearable stuff...usesable stuff to be donated to the 1) orphanage 2)old folk's home 3) salvation army. i trust that my frens ( i hope i still have some alive, or at least, some that know me well enough to respect my wishes ) or my parents, to honour my wishes

lastly, the stuff like my handphone,class photos, class jackets, class t-shirts, photos and trinkets of my frens, my exes...to be burnt at my funeral, and guys, i want a crementation, meaning, i want to be burnt, i want to be ashes, i cannot stand thinking that my body will rot and be eaten by creepy crawlers, earthworms, vultures, crows, WATEVER. NO NO NO and NO.

nope, i'm not selfish, i just dun want u guys, to be upset, to look at my photos, to look at my diary or anything and to wish that i'm still alive, if i'm dead, i am dead okay? i admit one part of me wishes that u pple will cry ur heart because i am dead, and because u miss me, u can't bear for me to go, but at the same time, being the noble me..i want u to get on wif ur life..u dun live because of someone..and nobody lives because of u, it's ur life..

listen to me, my dear frens, u came into the world alone, u're going to leave it alone, regardless of wat u think..or watever denial shit..or simply refusing to think bout it..i will have to think about it..it's just a matter of time. i have resigned to the fate that i am going to die, i will die, i have to die..and i'm afraid, i am scared of life after death, but u dun really have a choice in this ok? if ur time is up..u have to go no matter what..and i dun believe in cheating death because..simply because..there are 1000 billion and 10000000 trillion of pple on earth, if u dun die..how can there be new people on earth? and trust me..if u dun die...u will also be death because..earth will not be here by the next 100000000 trillion years.

because nothing lasts forever..when i'm old, senile and a naggy old woman, i doubt i'll have the memories of my 'frens', of feelings that i feel strongly about now...much less of my own actions, i'm afraid i have come to accept that i'll be a baby needing 24/7 attention, regardless of showering, eating, walking..( i think wheeling myself in a wheelchair ) or anything.. therefore..i do not believe in love, neither in everlasting things..nothing lasts forever..if u can think or something that last forever please tell me..

i asked someone, will u get married one day? he said: maybe
and i said : if u dun love the person, how can u marry her?
he said : for fun.

my heart aches for u because i know how much hurt and betrayal u've gone through..there's nothing i can do because ur broken heart and mind can never accept another person's love, care and concern. i am sorry,truly sorry. if i knew things would turn out this way, i would never have encouraged ur relationship. i wish with all my heart that u dun have to go through all the shit, and that i could lessen ur pain, but i can't. u're someone i feel that i have let down, and i'll do anything within my means to help u, regardless of what it is. pig..i hope u can one day, learn to have feelings again.and please dun try to kill urself again, because if u really die..i think i'll go crazy because it's all my fault..please dun die for someone who dun love u, but rather die knowing that the people who loves u,truly loves u.
voNnNnNnN' @ 10:36:00 PM/

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5/21/2004
miracle - cascada

Boy Meets Girl,
You were my dream my world
But I was blind, you cheated on me from behind
So on my own, I feel so all alone
but i know it's true, im still in love with you!!


(Chorus)
I need a miracle, i wanna be your girl
give me a chance to see that you are made for me,
I need a miracle please let me be your girl
one day you'll see it can happen to me,
I need a miracle, i wanna be your girl
give me a chance to see that you are made for me,
I need a miracle please let me be your girl
one day you'll see it can happen to me,
it can happen to me!!


Day and night im always by your side
cause I know for sure my love is real my feelings yours
so take a try don't need to ask me why
cause i know it's true, I'm still in love with you.


(Chorus)
I need a miracle, i wanna be your girl
give me a chance to see that you are made for me,
I need a miracle please let me be your girl
one day you'll see it can happen to me,
I need a miracle, i wanna be your girl
give me a chance to see that you are made for me,
I need a miracle please let me be your girl
one day you'll see it can happen to me,
it can happen to me



voNnNnNnN' @ 12:34:00 PM/

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5/20/2004
A journey of a thousand miles, begins with but with a single step.

Take off all your envies, jealousies, unforgiveness, selfishness, and
fears AND you will find things are actually not as difficult as you think.
There are many beautiful, charming and wonderful men and women here
on earth, it's just a matter of who you get to meet along the way and who you choose to end up with for the rest of your life.

Love has its own time, season and reason. You can't ask for it to
stay. You can only embrace it when it comes and be glad that for a moment in your life, it was yours.


touching isn't it? it makes me feel that there's a glimpse of hope in my life after all..but then again..it always happens to the beautiful princess on the road, or that good lookin' prince charming across the road..and never urself..wat do u think?

cheers.

voNnNnNnN' @ 1:38:00 PM/

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5/18/2004
have u ever felt alone? like u're the only one in this world?
have u ever felt that u're just a nobody in this world?
have u ever thought of urself as a failure..a useless idiot that shouldn't exist on planet earth, and u dun even know what the hell u're doing on this planet when u have absolutely no accomplishment..and no contribution whatever to this planet..in other words..u're a lousy, needing other pple in order to stay alive leech
have u ever felt so much misery, and yet so much hope that someone, or anyone would notice that u're bloody upset, and that u're sinking in hell, and would offer a sentence..or even a word in encouragement?
have u ever had the incredible urge to disappear for one day, just to see who is truly concern about u, and noticed ur disappearance?

Ladies and gentleman, i have..and to tell u the truth..the scene where u're sobbing uncontrollably, and suddenly, someone ( usually prince charming ) will turn up, to hug u, and suddenly everything is okay. argh! well..it's NOT TRUE, even if u threaten to commit suicide..the people that will turn up are the police, the psychologist, and the busybodies that can't wait to see someone falling off a building...etc

i usally dun bear my soul out in my blog because i dun believe in making my frens, (which i sincerely doubt i have) miserable and pissed off..and watsoever. but i dun give it a damn. ( animore)

dun u feel that the world is cruel? everything is about urself, more money because u get respected if u're richer..money makes the world go round..please dun deceive urself..it does..i used to think wtf is wrong wif people, money is not everything, love is..but sorrie to disappoint..if u dun have money..forget about love.

better education, come on..who dun want to be a professor? to excel in one's choice of career( even though u dread going to work everyday) who wants to always be at the bottom? everyone wants to get promoted..to be the manager, the managing director, the CEO, the chairman of the watever watever board. it's superfical yes, but it does boost ur self-esteem and confidence when u're appointed the post..dun u think so?

dun be mistaken people, i dun see myself as a higher being that's why i'm entitled to preaching of such stuff..i assure u i'm a normal, okay not so normal human being, who goes through life the same way as everybody else does.. well except i am more fortunate that kids in afganhistan, i have a computer to use, a tv to watch, an abundant supple to food and water..i am just so frustrated and irritated with life...yet i dun wish to die yet..because i'm afraid to start all over again..to make more ghost frens..to make a new "life". but i doubt it's of any difference..

i am just a nobody, and please dun tell me i can be somebody if i try, because we all know it's not true...

i am a lonely,pessimistic,stupid,lousy piece of shit..

i am sick of trying, sick of deceiving myself that things are going to be fine, sick of the shit i'm getting, and sick of the things i do for people and the things people do to me..i am so bloody screwed up. what the fuck.


voNnNnNnN' @ 10:16:00 PM/

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5/13/2004
i WANT this, i NEED to have this, and i HAVE to have this.but i doubt i'll ever get to own one..sigh..


voNnNnNnN' @ 1:11:00 AM/

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i think i am an idiot, u noe i bought stuff todae, and i lost it on the way home! argh! i dun remember where i put it, where i lost it..i only remembered it when i was walking home! and it's like too late lor!

aniwae, i was quite pissed bout something, u noe my boss, ahem, my ex-boss..he owes me salary. and he has the cheek to tell someone unrelated that he purposely dun wanna give me cos he wants me to make another trip back! like wth! he's so bloody immature and totally a major scumbug! argh, i told him and he was so mad, he said just dun go and take ur pay, dun care, but i told him, i should take it, it's my money, and if i dun go and take, it's making him 'save money' cos he save on labour for the days i worked for him

so..i am pissed wif myself for losing the stuff i bought todae, and, i am damn troubled bout, should i work for her? or should i get another job? sigh.

p.s: i miss all my FRENS. *sob*
voNnNnNnN' @ 12:40:00 AM/

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5/12/2004
http://www.vuitton.com/
voNnNnNnN' @ 2:58:00 PM/

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5/10/2004
hey guys..my birthdae photos..we were at marina square..this steamboat restaurant..haha..we all looked good rite??

voNnNnNnN' @ 12:03:00 AM/

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